When Close to Rome...
So there are these broken strips of pavement in Malta, which I wouldn’t exactly call streets. There are also these funny shaped boxes with motors, which I wouldn’t exactly call cars. And altogether, driving in Malta is quite an adventure.
First of all, the roads are crazy bad. Even the locals say that they all love off-roading, ‘cause that’s the only kind of driving there is. And we joke about going into town to go four-wheelin’. I mean, it wouldn’t be so bad if there weren’t those pesky pieces of pavement between the potholes.
We recently moved closer to town and we’re glad to be doing less driving. On the way out to our previous place there was a sign that said “Pavement Experiment In Progress 100M Ahead”, and then it was like floating on air. The pavement was dark black and smoother than hot snot on wet doorknob. I felt like rolling down the window and shouting, “IT’S WORKING!!” But the fact that this beautifully smooth strip of tarmac was only 50 yards long and the only of its kind makes me feel that nobody would care.
Fact is, Malta is pretty much a big limestone rock stickin’ out of the Mediterranean. On a nearby construction site we can see that after six inches of dry, pebbly top-soil, you hit solid rock. The only possible way to run pipes in the ground is to carve out a trench in the street and then fill ‘er in and patch ‘er up. And the look of the streets makes me feel that there never were original roads, just patches, each one beside or on top of the other. The sidewalks are actually worse. But at least I’m not worried about denting my tennis shoes like I am about the rims of our Škoda.
This wonderful family in the church loaned us their extra car. They were going to scrap it, but instead renewed the registration when they heard we needed one. It’s a Czechoslovakian made car called a Škoda Favorit (no, I didn’t miss an e, it doesn’t have one). We’ve affectionately named our car Emil, after the shrink, Dr. Emil Skoda, on one of our favorit shows, Law & Order. Please pray for Emil; he has a bad drinking habit and gets hot under the collar pretty quick. Pray not only for our sakes, but so that this wonderful family from the church won’t be bothered by these needy foreigners too much.
In all, we really love and appreciate our car. And it seems everyone else does too, ‘cause almost one in five other vehicles seem to be the same make and model. Every car here is extremely compact and they have that funny, European look like boxes with the corners rounded off. In our four weeks here we’ve seen two, count ‘em, two SUV’s. The funniest sight was to see a tiny, two-door hatch back towing a ginormous, twin-engine speed boat. There’s simply not room for big vehicles. On an island of 350,000 people, there are 250,000 cars.
In the last couple of years the government has been going like crazy in making streets one-way so that there’s room for the citizens to park. Of course this makes navigation a wonderful, marriage-building exercise. People have several times told us, “Don’t worry. You’re never lost in Malta. You’re always still in Malta.” It’s true; it is a relief to know that we’re never too far away. But even on this small island, it’s amazing how lost you can get. Let me put it this way: We have a book thick as a novel of road maps of Malta. It’s called The Maze. I rest my case.
Of course, the most amazing part of driving is the flow of traffic. I think there must be rules of the road, but either no one knows or cares about them. On a few streets, someone has painted something with faint resemblance to a line down the middle of the road, but it’s apparently just a suggestion. “Um… you might want to lend some thought to keeping most of your car on this side.” But the people have a saying of their own, “Drive in the shade.” I also haven’t figured out if the speed limits have any affect on traffic. I’ve seen folks rumbling along the freeway at frustrating speeds of 25 miles per hour, while others hurdle down narrow alleys at 60. And it seems that the horn is practically used as a gesture of good will, and that the Maltese are very amiable drivers. Oh well! When close to Rome…
First of all, the roads are crazy bad. Even the locals say that they all love off-roading, ‘cause that’s the only kind of driving there is. And we joke about going into town to go four-wheelin’. I mean, it wouldn’t be so bad if there weren’t those pesky pieces of pavement between the potholes.
We recently moved closer to town and we’re glad to be doing less driving. On the way out to our previous place there was a sign that said “Pavement Experiment In Progress 100M Ahead”, and then it was like floating on air. The pavement was dark black and smoother than hot snot on wet doorknob. I felt like rolling down the window and shouting, “IT’S WORKING!!” But the fact that this beautifully smooth strip of tarmac was only 50 yards long and the only of its kind makes me feel that nobody would care.
Fact is, Malta is pretty much a big limestone rock stickin’ out of the Mediterranean. On a nearby construction site we can see that after six inches of dry, pebbly top-soil, you hit solid rock. The only possible way to run pipes in the ground is to carve out a trench in the street and then fill ‘er in and patch ‘er up. And the look of the streets makes me feel that there never were original roads, just patches, each one beside or on top of the other. The sidewalks are actually worse. But at least I’m not worried about denting my tennis shoes like I am about the rims of our Škoda.
This wonderful family in the church loaned us their extra car. They were going to scrap it, but instead renewed the registration when they heard we needed one. It’s a Czechoslovakian made car called a Škoda Favorit (no, I didn’t miss an e, it doesn’t have one). We’ve affectionately named our car Emil, after the shrink, Dr. Emil Skoda, on one of our favorit shows, Law & Order. Please pray for Emil; he has a bad drinking habit and gets hot under the collar pretty quick. Pray not only for our sakes, but so that this wonderful family from the church won’t be bothered by these needy foreigners too much.
In all, we really love and appreciate our car. And it seems everyone else does too, ‘cause almost one in five other vehicles seem to be the same make and model. Every car here is extremely compact and they have that funny, European look like boxes with the corners rounded off. In our four weeks here we’ve seen two, count ‘em, two SUV’s. The funniest sight was to see a tiny, two-door hatch back towing a ginormous, twin-engine speed boat. There’s simply not room for big vehicles. On an island of 350,000 people, there are 250,000 cars.
In the last couple of years the government has been going like crazy in making streets one-way so that there’s room for the citizens to park. Of course this makes navigation a wonderful, marriage-building exercise. People have several times told us, “Don’t worry. You’re never lost in Malta. You’re always still in Malta.” It’s true; it is a relief to know that we’re never too far away. But even on this small island, it’s amazing how lost you can get. Let me put it this way: We have a book thick as a novel of road maps of Malta. It’s called The Maze. I rest my case.
Of course, the most amazing part of driving is the flow of traffic. I think there must be rules of the road, but either no one knows or cares about them. On a few streets, someone has painted something with faint resemblance to a line down the middle of the road, but it’s apparently just a suggestion. “Um… you might want to lend some thought to keeping most of your car on this side.” But the people have a saying of their own, “Drive in the shade.” I also haven’t figured out if the speed limits have any affect on traffic. I’ve seen folks rumbling along the freeway at frustrating speeds of 25 miles per hour, while others hurdle down narrow alleys at 60. And it seems that the horn is practically used as a gesture of good will, and that the Maltese are very amiable drivers. Oh well! When close to Rome…
posted by BenandJess at
11:15 PM
5 Comments:
"Drive in the shade" lol, thats funny! Reminds me of my trips to mexico.. no one really cares where the lines are, they just drive. And if its a truck, there is usually about 10 people in the back. Insane! Well I just wanted to post and say hello. ttys!
p.s. Ben, your parents are the coolest parents ever =)
By
Anonymous, at 11:34 PM
its a good thing you're not driving my nice new jetta in that country! i love you both :o) mom
By
Anonymous, at 1:42 AM
It isn't the government that makes the streets one way.
It's the local councils which insist on doing the one ways. It's their job apparently.
By
malta blogger, at 2:08 PM
Hi Guys,
I found your blog spot and it was nice to read about you. I'm glad you're doing well. We are planning to hit your beach again on the 4th. We will miss you. Were praying for you guys. God bless.
~Gabe, Jill, & Brielle
We look forward to hearing more!!
By
Anonymous, at 8:17 AM
Yes, it's 3:45am on my day off and I'm at my computer reading your blog. Honestly, I love the way you write. Whether it's Ben or Jessica, I don't care. It's funnier than heck on a stick. I'll tell you one thing, if I was innocently bystandering on the side of the road and I saw someone stick their head outside of a box and yell "it's working!" I'd care. Quite a bit actually. K, the 4 hostess cupcakes and 4 italian cherry sodas have lost their affect and I must therefore crash on my bed and fall asleep to the Princess Bride. Peace out my negros.
By
Anonymous, at 1:05 PM
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